Reid Smith
This post is one in a series by guest authors who embrace the value of “thinking small.” You can read the author’s bio at the end of the post.
My interest in oranges would have been short-lived if my only attempts at eating them had been with the peel still on. As it is, I love oranges…because I peel them to get to what’s inside. Usually they’re good. However, all of them would be awful unpeeled. Zest is one thing, but a shard of leathery peel is another.
Groups can have the same appeal as the taste of unpeeled fruit to some people so it’s necessary to peel groups too! The sign of an unpeeled group is where group members strain to remember church-sponsored language to define their group, rehearse several facets of what you attempt to do together in each gathering, or require an explanation that is complicated or just weird-sounding to somebody coming from an unchurched background.
A peeled group, on the other hand, is one where each member can articulate what your group is all about in a very simple way that makes sense to an “outsider” (Christian or not) and they can do so in a way that is natural to them. Getting to that place has a way of focusing your group, harmonizing your activities, and freeing people to operate in ways that are true to their God-given nature.
Peeling your group begins by asking the right questions and helping each one answer them honestly. Consider leading your group through a light-hearted dialogue around this set of questions:
- What are we really trying to do together? And what do we need to stop, start, or continue doing to have this impact?
- What feels forced in our life together? What’s natural?
- What do you want to experience and see happen in our group? If you could look at our group next season/year…what does victory look like in your mind’s eye?
- How do you want your life to be different as a result of your participation?
- What do you WANT to share about our group with those who are not a part of it? And what do you find yourself usually leaving out?
The Shakespearian adage, “To thine own self be true,” applies as much to individuals as it does to groups. Group members should play to the strengths of their personal relational style and find ways to be an extension of your group’s community life in ways that flow naturally from who they are. As each one expresses their unique friendship-forming style, they can begin to cultivate the essence of what they’re after in your group-life in their personal relationships.
The most fertile relational soil exists where group members live, work, and play – so invite them to ask the Lord to bring a spiritual focus to their relationships through meaningful connections and conversations. New group-life – whether it’s growth created by grafting or branching – can develop naturally from friendships that have this spiritual focus. A simple, organic approach that entrusts God’s mission to many in this way will help us move past the peel.
Reid Smith is the Community Life Pastor of the 13,000 member multi-site Christ Fellowship Church in Palm Beach Gardens, Florida and the founder of the 2orMore small group leadership training and resource ministry. He lives in Jupiter, Florida with his wife of 14-years, Lisa, and two children: Mikayela (7) and Drew (4). Reid has been applying ‘best practices’ in small group ministry start-up / restarts, operations, and leadership development for over ten years.
